KISSINGER WAKES, SITS UP IN COFFIN

DIGGING DEEPER
By Ivan G. Goldman
Somebody nudged Henry Kissinger, napping in his daytime coffin. He sat up, blinked, told a congressional panel maybe the President has a secret plan to end the war, and fell back into the comfort of his Transylvanian dirt.

Sorry, Henry, somebody forgot to inform you – this is a different maniacal Republican president – this one a whole lot stupider than the one you’re used to. Also, this is a different pointless war, and unlike the one you were so fond of, Henry, this one could pull in Iran, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Egypt, even China. A real bloodbath, Henry, the Armageddon this ding-a-ling prays for. Nothing like a disgraced President picking a few radioactive shards out of his teeth to give him a whole new start. He can be born again, this time maybe just missing a brain instead of a brain, courage, and a heart.

Anyway, Henry, brand new ball game, different pitcher on the mound.

In the meantime, over on Capitol Hill, senators are competing with each other to see just whose staff can write the most meaningless, non-binding resolution to fail to nail Bush and Cheney to the wall for lying, stealing, committing a string of felonies, and getting hundreds of thousands of people killed and maimed, millions adrift, all for no purpose -- while our prince and his chief minister continue dropping more borrowed dollars down the slot. “We’ll hit one this time, Georgie. I can feel it.”

And there are ugly noises coming out of long-overlooked Afghanistan, where the one-eyed mullah can’t wait for the snow to melt so he can vent his whatever down in the flatlands. What a guy. Still on the loose along with Osama Bin what’s-his-name.

Another little story ignored this week confirmed that incompetent White House fiends planted political operatives in virtually every government agency to put the administration’s own twist on global warming, Star Wars, family planning, stem cell research, vehicle emission standards, and etc. Nothing new there. It’s precisely what the Soviet Union did for 70 years, using political operatives called commissars. They were placed even in the armed forces, overruling general officers, just like right now with the commissars' little “surge,” which continues apace because, remember? – Congress refuses to get mixed up in the madness. Since they don’t want to get stuck with the blame and have no leadership qualities, [Hear me, oh useless Hillary] they stand back and squeak like mice.

Finally, our forces kicked the hell out of murderous Muslim crazies belonging to a secret Iraqi sect, killing, wounding, and capturing hundreds. Only one problem. What the hell are U.S. forces doing acting as religious police in Iraq, for Christ’s sake? (Get that pert double entendre?Couldn’t help myself) This is what happens when you occupy a crazy place and pledge to make it un-crazy. You get caught up changing somebody else's bedsheets.

In L.A., gang members are targeting members of differing races for drive-bys. Among the massacred was a 14-year-old girl minding her own business. Shouldn’t we be more concerned about that?