Friday, April 20, 2007


By Ivan G. Goldman
This White House is coming apart like a Yugo in a wind tunnel. How is it coming apart? Let us count the ways.

Alberto Gonazalez: This man does terrible work in his two jobs as clown and liar. He's so astonishingly brainless he’s incapable of separating in his mind those lies he might be able to get away with and those that will be specifically disproved for certain by others’ testimony and documentary evidence. Even the most partisan Republicans on the Judiciary Committee now treat him like a typhoid carrier. The man appears baffled that he can’t wriggle out of precisely proved falsehoods by blabbing general denials. Worst Attorney General since . . . well, since the last one. And the White House just lets this runaway train roll on.

Shotgun Cheney: As late as last week he was raving about Saddam ties to Al Qaeda that have been disproved and/or disbelieved by virtually every intelligence agency and investigating committee that examined these false claims. His mind is a trash dump. He now directs comments only to the lowest grade fools and those few raving wraths who are as loony as he is.

Paul Wolfowitz: A World Bank president so damnably caught with his corrupt rat paws in the cookie jar that his own troops booed him in the lobby. Like Gonzalez, he answers questions about specific misdeeds with generalities or more lies. This nincompoop -- a key designer of our Iraq invasion and the non-strategy that followed -- tried hunkering down by – get this – not showing up for work. Sure, that’l fool ‘em.

War Czar: Not only will no one accept the post, the generals turning it down insult the Bush Administration both publicly and privately while they do it. When's the last time you heard someone reject a White House job by blasting the would-be employer in a Washington Post op-ed page piece? That's what retired Marine General John Sheehan did. These are uniquely powerful signals the ship's headed straight for an iceberg..

What’s Bush say about all this? Well, he pronounced Gonzalez’s testimony a hit. His spokeswoman (now there’s an ugly job) Dana Perino told reporters Gonzalez "has done a fantastic job in the Department of Justice." In other words, the policy is to follow the lead of goofball Gonzalez’s hopeless, hapless attempt to refute hard evidence with moronic platitudes and general denials. It’s like being caught by twelve cameras, 6,000 witnesses, and 400 pieces of physical evidence in a murder by strangulation and then claiming you were never near the scene and if you were you don’t recall it anyway.

Chief Bush-o-Ramus also pronounced his confidence in Wolfowitz and that sinking surge and continues, like his deputies, to answer facts with slogans and lies. Maybe he could help his people dig up a war czar among one of those “chicken pluckers” he talked about Thursday as he weirdly babbled on about a variety of subjects he can’t discuss in English sentences.

It looks like no one's in control. Whoever was calling the shots the first few years appears to have retired from the field and left the job to scavengers.

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