HILLARY – NO POLCY, NO BELIEFS, NO NADA, BUT PEOPLE MAGAZINE LIKES HER
Hillary Clinton pokes her nose out of the tent to bark at something only when she’s found an issue that’s safer than Cheney’s bunker. And she’s found it – yes, the Taliban-tinged United Arab Emirates poised to take over six U.S. ports. Opposing this stupid, crazy deal is no more dangerous politically than coming out against avian flu.

But notice that Hillary, the leading ’08 candidate, has yet to oppose the Iraq war that’s sucking the juices out of this nation as we speak. Because, yes, folks, she’s moved center, and therefore has never, not once, said anything of substance about our quagmire over there, except maybe that it’s been mishandled. As though there’s some good way to handle a policy initiative that kills and cripples people, costs a trillion dollars and is the biggest boost to Iran and Al Qaeda since Rumsfeld took over the Defense Department.

Hillary has never tackled the question of whether this invasion maybe wasn’t such a hot idea after all. If she can't bring herself to oppose this criminal, pointless death pit, the worst foreign-policy mistake in U.S. history, what’s there to like about her? I mean, what’s the attraction?
The answer: people like the fact that she’s a celebrity, a People magazine kind of person -- a Clinton. Americans are more comfortable with dynasties than actually rolling the dice on a real election. That’s why we’ve got Bushes, Clintons, Kennedys, Byahs, etc., running all through our government like mice in the kitchen. It’s America’s dirty little secret – our longing for a monarchy. Come back, King George, all is forgiven. But of course that King George is long gone and it’s tough to root for Liz and Charlie Windsor, who are no more equipped to run a country than Dopey, Sneezy, or Smirky.

So we whip up putative royalty of our own, and Baroness Hillary stands ready to haul us aboard her bandwagon to nowhere. But bear in mind that if she has any core beliefs, she has yet to reveal them. She’s also an unaccomplished legislator and, at least in public, a crashing bore who's a lock loser to whichever Republican dynasty steps up to the plate next.