Wednesday, February 15, 2006

PHONE CONVERSATION PICKED UP BY NSA SURVEILLANCE TEAM

Dickie? I told you never to call me here. Anyway, I thought you were busy with that bird thing.

Georgie, is there anything you can help us out with? Anything at all.

The Iranians, they’ve got Chalabi. That’s all I can tell you. . . . I swear to God I didn’t know it was gonna be a real election, Dickie. They bumped into me at the U.N. and they said that you and -- and – them were in on a -- a -- big deal together. And that there was something in it for me if I'd help ’em out. They said that -- they said that -- you were bein’ tough on the negotiations. But if they could get a little help -- and close the deal fast – it’d be good for the family. They wanted to talk . . .

You believed that story? You believed that?

They said there was something in it for me -- on my own.

I’ve always taken care of you.

Taken care of me? You're my vice president and you take care of me? Did you ever think about that -- did you ever once think about that? Send Georgie off to do this -- send Georgie off to do that! Let Georgie take care of some Mickey Mouse fund-raiser somewhere. Send Georgie to pick somebody up in the helicopter. I'm supposed to be the President, and I was stepped over!

That’s the way your Pop wanted it.

It ain’t the way I wanted it! I can handle things. I’m smart – not like everyone says. Not dumb, smart. And I want respect.

Is there anything you can tell me about that Iraqi election?

Sistani, he belongs to them.

Georgie, you’re nothing to me now. You’re not my caddy anymore, you’re not a friend. I don’t want you near my office. When you see Condi, I want to know a day in advance so I won’t be there. Understand?

Wait, I have to know -- what's the deal with this Iraq thing anyway? Those reporters are asking about it again.

The Iranians, they left us a couple oil wells, but that’s it. They get the rest. They said we could have that crappy loot from the museums, but I told them the same thing I told Leahy.

They can go fuck themselves, right? Oh, you always know what to say. Dickie. I need you, Dickie.

You should have come to me Georgie. I’d have made you an offer you couldn’t refuse.

Can’t it be like the old days again? Remember when they let me bring you into that congressional hearing? You and me, Dickie. A team. Remember?

You know, Georgie? I just can’t stay mad at you.

So we’re still pals, Dickie?

Sure, let’s go hunting next weekend.

1 comment:

TED VELVET said...

"you broke my heart dickie, you broke my heart." Good stuff